Ugly is in The Eye of The Beholder!
What is classified as beautiful and what's ugly? And, who’s the beholder?
Here’s my thinking.
Don't get me wrong, there have been ugly things happening in my life, but I have been brought up experiencing beauty in everyday events, through images as well as words of affirmation.
From an early age I learned to appreciate that beauty is all around me, no matter what everyone else was thinking or saying.
My dad, with a cheeky grin on his face, used to introduce himself (and still does occasionally), as “vackra Jan” (Swedish for handsome Jan). And, when someone was commenting on what he was wearing, good or bad, he used to reply with the words “Everything looks great on someone who’s already beautiful”. He always replied with a positive.
I was raised in a household where beauty and brains were seen as equal. My parents used to tell me I had both, and 55 years later they still do. It's good to be encouraged no matter what age.
Growing up with my parents love and affirmation was fantastic, but it didn’t stop me from thinking I wasn’t beautiful or clever. Being picked on at school for having red hair and my head in the clouds, I used to feel ugly and stupid, comparing myself with others, thinking they were picked on less and therefore must be more beautiful and cleverer than me.
To get around 'feeling less worthy' I used to copy what they said as well as what they wore. It wasn’t until I started to love me for who ‘I am’ that I gave up trying to copy their behaviour. Don’t get me wrong, I can still feel ugly and stupid, but I’ve learnt to overcome those thoughts with positives and feel blessed for what I have.
Beauty is deep, and sometimes we will hold on to our own for dear life not letting others see it. Just in case we get hurt...
Perhaps you can relate? Perhaps you haven’t been brought up being told how to look for beauty around you, or perhaps you feel ashamed wishing that you could hear it said to you more often.
It’s time you realise that you are the beholder and believe that beauty is shining brightly from your eyes, skin, mouth and whole being.
There are several studies to prove that we are drawn to certain ‘beauty standards’ and that’s part of being human. However, for me, knowing that true beauty comes from how we feel about ourselves has given me a passion looking for beauty in everyday life. And, you know what, it’s everywhere.
Hear this, and believe it - You are beautiful!
If this belief in you is as small as a mustard seed, then that’s big enough. You just have to cultivate it by affirmations and self care. If you believe in the one who created you, you must pray for an enlightenment to see you as He sees you - fearfully and wonderfully made.
Perhaps this is why I do what I do - Encourage you to feel beautiful in who you are and inspire you to dress accordingly to you vision and values.
To take charge of being the beholder and be true to who you are meant to be.